Psychology Archives - The Free Financial Advisor

How to Utilize Rewards

July 29, 2020 by Jacob Sensiba Leave a Comment

On this site, we talk about credit, investing, and how to pay off debt. One thing that’s often missed around the debt subject is rewards.

Rewards are incentives to keep going. It’s something we can use to motivate us on our journey, no matter what that journey is.

Whether we are trying to pay off debt, lose weight, or just, straight up, improve our life. You need to reward yourself, otherwise, it’s go go go, all the time.

In this article, we’ll talk about when it’s a good time to reward yourself, how, and things to look out for.

Habits

A reward should be centered around two things. Habit formation or commitment, and goals.

If you are trying to make an improvement on something, whether it’s your health or your finances, you have to develop good habits.

If you want to exercise more, do it six days in a row, then take a break. That break can be your reward. If you want to eat better, do it for six days and then take a little break with a cheat meal.

The first step is creating the habits to get yourself to that better place.

Goals

The next reward will come when you hit goals. You want to get to a certain place, say saving $20,00 for a down payment, eliminating your debt, or losing 20 pounds.

Those are great goals, but you should put in place incremental ones to help you get there. That could be a reward for every $5,000 saved, every $5,000 paid down, or every 5 pounds lost.

It’s a lot like Dave Ramsey’s “Snowball Method” with applications in different areas of life. The goal with that method is to give you small wins to keep you motivated.

How to reward

If you put those habits in place and hit those goals, it’s time for the reward. The great, but the challenging part about that is everyone defines reward differently.

So when you create a reward for yourself, you should keep two things in mind. Make sure it’s good enough to release some dopamine, but small enough that it doesn’t set you back on what you are trying to accomplish.

If you’re trying to lose weight, your reward should be a little cheat meal or a day off from working out. Not a day of binge eating or a week without breaking a sweat.

If you’re trying to save money or pay down debt, don’t let whatever the reward is negate you from saving that month or add to your debt.

Large enough to make you feel good, but small enough so you stay on course.

What to watch for

The biggest thing to watch for is the size/duration of the reward. It mustn’t be too big or too small.

It’s a fine line and may require a little trial and error before you get it right. Start small and work your way up.

As I mentioned, it shouldn’t detract you from the pursuit of your goals, but it should also make you feel good about the progress that you’ve made or the habits you’ve created.

How I handle rewards

I won’t lie to you, rewards are a challenge for me. I’m very much a black and white type of person.

I keep junk food out of the house because I can’t be tempted with it. I make regular transfers from checking to savings in order to keep “discretionary money” out of my bank account for fear of spending it away (mostly on take-out, honestly).

It’s hard for me to put the pedal to the floor and take it off for a day. I’m either all on or all off, but I’m starting to figure it out. It really just takes some practice, a little will power, and some self-awareness.

Money Anxiety

July 15, 2020 by Jacob Sensiba Leave a Comment

Money anxiety is not an official mental disorder but is often treated. It manifests itself in a variety of ways, but I want to explain how anxiety and money affect my own life.

As I’ve mentioned here before, I have diagnosed anxiety so my feelings and experiences may be amplified to what you feel.

When it comes to money anxiety, I experience it in a few different scenarios.

Pleasing people

Your willingness or ability to spend money in a relationship should not determine the strength of that relationship. If that’s the case, is that a relationship really worth having?

In my case, it’s directly correlated with my former spouse. She got dealt a few bad hands in life, so I was willing to spend beyond my means to make her happy. Not that the spending inherently would make her happy, it was more of a reluctance to say no due to financial constraints.

That inability to say no stuck me with debt that set me back on my personal finance journey. Obviously, there are other personal factors that resulted in these circumstances, but that’s the gist.

Fitting in

I’ll echo what I said in the first section, your willingness or ability to spend money in a relationship should not determine the strength or quality of that relationship.

Thankfully, I’ve learned from/outgrown this, but it used to be a real challenge for me. Growing up, I never really felt like I fit into a particular friend group. So I developed relationships that I’m thankful for now but otherwise appeared destructive.

Destructive from a personal and financial perspective. As I said, I’ve since outgrown that tendency, but it’s something to be aware of for yourself.

Long-term thinking

This section will specifically talk about my house. The one I’m currently renting. Before we bought that one, we were two years into a mortgage in a different city. The plan was to live there until my son was school-age, and then we’d move to a city with better schools.

The house we ended up buying, I found on a whim. We looked at it, loved it, and put in an offer. It stretched us SUPER thin from a financial perspective. I mean, exhausted all of our savings (including retirement), and we were incredibly close to being negative on our budget.

I knew in my heart that it was the right long-term decision, and I was willing to go through the pain/struggle in the short-term for it.

Little did I know that circumstances would change dramatically in the next year or two. Plan for the long term, but also plan for short-term variances (even the dramatic ones).

What I know

Because of my profession, my training, and what I’ve read, I’ve seen what happens when you make poor decisions.

That said, many (if not all) of my financial choices are heavily scrutinized. When I say “financial choices” I mean the larger ones. Day to day spending and bills are factored into my budget, though I do review (as you should) regularly to see where I can trim excess spending.

When I make a financial decision, my money anxiety kicks into gear, as I always second guess myself. I run through the possible scenarios that could play out.

Tim Ferriss calls it fear-setting. The Stoics call it premeditatio morum. It’s a practice of expecting the worst and planning for them as they will happen. Expect the worst, hope for the best. Not a bad thing to do, in money and in life.

My Last Reflection

The Importance of Being Handy

Hacks for Covid-Related Issues

April 1, 2020 by Jacob Sensiba Leave a Comment

Our daily lives have been disrupted. People are working from home, unable to go to the store, or have lost their job.

For those of us that are able to continue living our lives, relatively normal, with some minor inconveniences, we need to adjust.

We need to take advantage of the 21st-century technology available to us. This could be anything from grocery shopping apps, social media, or the apps of your favorite stores.

In this article, we’re going to dive into some of the tools and hacks you can use to help get through this period of quarantine and social distancing.

Grocery Shopping Hacks

There are several hacks you can use to make your trips to the grocery store more efficient and effective.

Get what you need and get out. You HAVE to make a list and you NEED to stick to that list. This isn’t the time to browse or look for sales (more on that in a minute), buy the items on your list and leave.
Plan your route – If there’s a particular store you frequently visit, use that store’s app to plan your route. Personally, I go to Walmart for almost everything. The first thing I do is make my list. Then I go onto the app and start searching for the items on my list. The location marked as “your store” will pinpoint which department, aisle, and shelf position for your item.
Buy in bulk – with items that won’t go bad or if the time in which you need to use it by is several months or years in the future, buy it in bulk. Be careful, however. It is important to do the math. Figure out the “per unit” price and make sure buying in bulk is an economically beneficial decision.
Look up recipes ahead of time that require only a few/minimal ingredients. Ideally, you’ll want to find recipes that require few ingredients that can also make a healthy amount of food. That way you have leftovers. The way I like to think about it is how much does each meal cost?
That brings me to my next point…buy foods you can freeze, or make meals that you can freeze. This gives you food that you can use down the road and also gives you something easy to eat if you’re tired or aren’t feeling well.
One more quick one – Use your knuckles and/or elbows when possible. We all want to stay healthy and avoid passing Covid onto others. Where it makes sense, try not to use your hands.

Grocery Shopping Apps

There are possibly hundreds of grocery shopping apps available, but in doing my research, I found five apps that I thought were extremely useful.

Flipp – Matches coupons from your favorite brands with the weekly flyer from your favorite store.
MealBoard – Manages your recipes, grocery list, and it also keeps track of what you do or don’t have in your pantry.
Grocery Pal – Browse sales and coupons from the stores you frequent, and seamlessly add sale items to your grocery list.
Out of milk – Lets you know what’s in your pantry and what you need to add to your shopping list.
Big Oven – Kind of like a social network for groceries and recipes. Find out what your connections are buying to get inspiration for recipes. You can also type in the ingredients you do have and find some recipes you can make with those ingredients

Working from home

It’s no doubt that we are extremely fortunate to be able to work from home. With all of the technology available, a considerable amount of the workforce is able to tap in from a remote location and still get their stuff done.

As lucky as we may be, working from home comes with its own unique challenges. Here are some hacks for those working from home.

Get dressed like you’re going to work – this is something that’ll help you psychologically. It’ll trick your brain into thinking you’re going to work. This helps you frame your mindset for work.
Designate a work-space in your home – a psychological trick as well as a means to an end. You can’t work in front of the TV. You need a space where you can actually be productive.
Keep a strict schedule (if you can) – Now this isn’t possible for everyone, especially if you have little kids at home that need constant attention. Just do your best. Lean on your family members to watch the kiddos for a little while so you can get some work done. Also, please remember to take breaks. Check-in with friends and colleagues. Try to make your day as normal as possible.
Communicate everything – Almost to a fault. Send emails and texts. Make phone calls about anything and everything. We’re so familiar with communicating in person that we don’t realize how much we actually say.

Working together

My favorite part of this post. Writing about the human condition and how in times of crisis we always put our differences aside to help our neighbor.

During this pandemic, do what you can to help your fellow humans. Offer to pool resources together. Share recipes. Have a rotation of who goes to the grocery store.

If you have an elderly neighbor or family member, do everything you can to help them. Go to the store for them. Send letters to loved ones. Send letters to folks in nursing homes and assisted living facilities.

We’re not all scientists, healthcare professionals, retail employees, or other essential professions that are keeping the wheels turning, so we have to do our part in some form or fashion. Be nice.

Reading and Resources:

What are the Advantages and Disadvantages of Saving at a Bank

An Update About My Habits

January 15, 2020 by Jacob Sensiba Leave a Comment

Over the past few weeks, I’ve tried implementing habits that would make a positive impact on my life.

In the following article, I’m going to review those habits, what I’ve learned since then, and how I’ve adapted to make them work for me.

What I was doing

I have to tell you, I wasn’t doing much. I had every intention of exercising, meditating, and journaling.

Exercising took place here and there. I have a pull-up bar in the doorway to my bedroom, so I’d do 5 every time I walked by, but there was nothing consistent.

I didn’t have a regular regimen that I followed.

Honestly, meditation didn’t happen much either. There were two things I did that may or may not count. They had meditative properties, but it wasn’t something I consciously thought of as meditation.

I hung in my inversion table for 5-10 minutes. There was no intention of focusing on the breath or anything like that. I sort of just let my mind wander.

I laid on my “neck tension relief” device for 5 minutes. I was more intentional about keeping a steady breath but wasn’t particular about going back to the breath when my mind wandered.

I journaled very inconsistently. Again, nothing regular.

What I found out

I stink at establishing habits, but I also figured out a system that can work for me. Having a two-year-old makes it a little more challenging, but this goes back to my point about being intentional.

I wanted to exercise, journal, and read in the evening, and meditate in the morning. That schedule didn’t work for me. At the end of the day, I a) didn’t have enough time to fit those things in and b) was too tired to do so.

All of these habits are beneficial; I know they are. However, they all take different shapes and forms, and you need to make adjustments based on what will work best for your personality and your schedule.

What I’m doing now

I made a few adjustments to my schedule and in my practice.

Exercise and meditation take place in the morning – I exercise first, wind down for 5 minutes, and then meditate. Additionally, while I meditate, I have a journaling app open (Journey). If something comes to mind that I would like to explore more, I make a note in that app and then bring my focus back to the breath. Doing both of these activities in the morning holds me accountable and makes sure I get them taken care of. Incorporating the notes provides me with prompts that I can journal on later.
Journaling and reading in the evening – when I journal, I go through my day. I recount the good and the bad and try to find lessons hidden in everything. Once I’ve gone through the day, I go to those prompts I created that morning and write at length about those. After I journal, I read. Typically it’s for 15-20 minutes. It really all depends on how tired I am.

I am very pleased with this new set up, but it’s still new to me, so I will provide an update in about a month for my next “Personal Reflection” piece.

Conclusion

When we set goals and/or set out to make positive changes in our lives, it’s important to stay malleable.

Just because this thing worked for so and so, doesn’t mean it’ll work the same for you. We are all different, so we need to approach habits with the same attitude. Find out what works for you and stick with it, but don’t be afraid to make adjustments as life changes.

My Goals for 2020

January 1, 2020 by Jacob Sensiba Leave a Comment

Now that we’ve turned the calendar to another year, another decade, it’s time to figure what goals we would like to set.

Specifically, in this post, I’m going to go over the goals that I’m setting for myself, why I’m setting that goal, and how I’m going to put a system in place to achieve that goal.

What are my goals for 2020?

Get out of debt – Bought a house in 2019 and bit off more than I could chew. The divorce also threw a wrench in my financial planning.
Save for retirement – I’ve put my savings on hold for the time being due to poor financial decisions that led to the debt, etc.
Incorporate a meditation practice – I’ve harped on it and studies show how much it helps. I need to do this.
Journal every day – When I remember to journal, those are generally good days. I need to do this consistently.
Read every day – Reading can only help me, so why wouldn’t I do it more? I’ll learn something new and it’s shown to provide some meditative benefits.
Spend more dedicated time with my son – I’ve found myself over the last month or so having my phone out more than normal. I mean, I’ve had quite a lot going on with work and mentally, but that’s no excuse. He deserves better.
Exercise regularly – it’s good for my body and my mind. It’s a must.

Typically, when you’re setting goals, you should be very specific. You’ll notice, that I wasn’t. I get more granular with my goals in the systems section.

My systems

Getting out of debt and saving for retirement we can lump into one system, as they both revolve around finances and me reigning in my spending.

Until April, this will be incredibly challenging, as I am currently paying my mortgage on my house and the rent for my apartment.

So until I get my house rented (I have tenants set to move in, in April), I’m kind of stuck. Once that happens, however, I’ll have the debt repayment pedal down to the floor.

Simultaneously, I’ll contribute $20 per month to my retirement account, just to get in the habit of doing it again. Start small, enforce the habit, then increase the dollar amount.

Meditation

Of my goals, incorporating meditation practice should be relatively easy. I know my preferred style – I’m not one to sit pretzel-legged on a cushion. I lay down on the floor, on my back, which some relaxing music playing.

The hard part is a) making the time for it and b) doing it consistently. To start, I’m going to set my alarm for 5 minutes earlier than normal.

5 minutes might not seem like a lot, but if I wake up 5 minutes earlier, that gives me 5 minutes to meditate. If I do that consistently for the next, say three weeks, those extra 5 minutes won’t seem that, and I can scale it to 10 minutes.

As I noted in last week’s article, when forming a habit, you have to start small and then scale up.

Reading

Reading every day. This is a must-do for me. It’s good for my mind, it’s good for my soul, it’s good for everything. I have a great many books on my list, but they will all fall into a specific genre – finance, philosophy, religion, or biographies.

The first one will help with work. The last three will help with life.

Every day, before bed, I’m going to read for 15 minutes. That’s my starting point. Once I get into the habit, the amount of time I read will increase.

Spending time with my son

Spend more dedicated time with my son. This is an easy one. Just stay off my gosh darn phone.

Keep it in my room or in the kitchen. Not in my pocket, where I can easily access it. Put the ringer on and leave it alone.

If it’s an emergency, someone will call and I will hear it.

This will also eliminate a distraction, so if he goes to bed for the night, I can immediately pick up a book without getting sucked into the social media black hole.

Exercise

Exercising every day. I read recently in a book about the Dalai Lama that exercising your mind is more important than exercising your body, so I’ve put that on the back burner.

I have a pull-up bar in the doorway to my bathroom and I do 5 pull-ups every time I go in, but that’s not enough dedicated, consistent time for exercise.

I think doing it in the morning makes the most sense. I’m too tired in the evenings to exercise. The question is, do I do this before or after meditation?

Probably after, as I need my mind at ease when I meditate.

So instead of waking up 5 minutes earlier, I’ll start by waking up 20 minutes earlier. Dedicated 15 of those minutes to exercise and the remaining 5 for meditation.

Living with Anxiety and Depression

December 11, 2019 by Jacob Sensiba Leave a Comment

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about my personal experiences with anxiety and depression, and how those mental illnesses affect your finances. (See article here)

This week, I’d like to talk about what it’s like living with these two illnesses. Before I do, however, I’d like to show a graphic from Anxiety.org that sum the symptoms pretty well.

The most challenging part about having anxiety and depression is that no day is the same.

Sometimes, I can’t even tell they’re there. Although, to be honest, those days are very few and far between.

Other days, my anxiety is in overdrive, which is exhausting. I’m jittery, constantly worrying about things that I needn’t worry about, and I have a big ball of negative energy that’s ever present in my stomach.

I have to say, though, the days when my depression is dominant are the toughest. The only thing I want to do these days is stay in bed and sleep.

Isolate myself from everyone, and just deal with it alone. Which is counter intuitive because social interaction is one thing that helps the most.

Recent changes

My medication changed. I don’t know if I noted it in that prior post I alluded to earlier, but my previous prescription wasn’t doing the job.

I’ve been on my new dose for two weeks now. My doc gave me two medications. One to treat my depression and another to treat my anxiety.

So far, so good. My depression isn’t gone by any means, but it’s definitely reduced. Though, I will say, there are days when it flares up due to certain triggers.

My anxiety is, somewhat, better. The biggest positive is that I’m sleeping better, which is vitally important.

The biggest drawback I’ve noticed is something I didn’t expect.

A temper was passed down to be, and sometimes, it’s really bad. Over the past year or so, my depression has been so prominent that it’s muted my anger.

Guess what? The new medication is doing its job and the anger is making its way back.

So what do I do? Change my medications again? Or do I learn techniques to manage my anger? Techniques that will allow me to feel my emotions without feeling controlled by them.

Yes is my answer.

Meditation, relaxation, and exercise. The two former I’m incorporating into my morning routine. The latter will take place in the evening.

My new morning routine will go as follows: (all while listening to relaxing chillstep)

Wake up 45 minutes before I have to get ready (shower, shave, change, leave)
Start with 5 minutes with my neck/head tension reliever
10 minutes in my inversion table
15 minutes of meditation
15 minutes of Tai chi
Turn on some classic 90s/00s hits to get ready to

My exercise routine changes everyday. At least 30 minutes each day.

Day 1 – Elliptical

Day 2 – Stretch

Day 3 – Pull-ups and lunges

Day 4 – Stretch

Day 5 – Resistance bands and jumping jacks

Day 6 – Stretch

I haven’t done enough to take my mental health into my own hands. Sure, I’m seeing a therapist and I’m taking prescription medication, but that’s not enough.

I need to move my body and relax my mind.

I’m also reading a book about the Dalai Lama right now, and it’s quite interesting. It’s giving me a different perspective on how I can go about my day and the mentality I can incorporate into my daily life.

How it affects my finances

Depends on the day. If it’s a depression day, not too much. Like I said, I want to isolate myself on these days and I generally won’t buy things to make me feel better.

If it’s an anxiety-ridden day, that’s a different story. Food is my go-to when my anxiety is running high. That negatively affects my finances.

Bottom line, just make sure you are taking care of yourself. Whatever that looks like for you. Also, make sure you have a “person”. Someone you can vent to. Someone that checks on you.